This is a great and consoling oracle of the holy Ghost for me that virtue gets perfected in infirmity so I will make use of it and commence by it my answer to that blotched letter of yours in which you own yourself to be restless and I do not know what. Feeling ones own infirmity is such a great deal, and owning it to be even greater than it is is a great deal more and so among the thorns of infirmity grows the lily of virtue. I think it must be very hard at times to be outwardly very affectionnate[3] and not spitefull[4] against that one will of his which is an obstacle to what I fancy to be your most ardent wish if it were possible to love him and not offend him ever to be firm but not angry; however we can pray that it may be so knowing that we will have to pray again very often and confess and the rest of it. Perfect equality of temper & meekness is a thing of a better world than this.
I hope there is no more frightening you now by telling you that you are doing wrong; you know you are p2not and that as far as duty goes all is right. I certainly think leaving him and being imprudent on that way will not further your wishes, treating about the matter jocosely will perhaps make him fancy you might not be quite in earnest about it. I promise you faithfully to tell you if I should think of anything else. I will say no more about Jealousy. I do not distrust your veracity nor can I say that I do your