Ramsgate
England
Have you heard I have left Belgium? I had a great riot at Cortenberg & was told “the sooner I left the better”. So I packed up my goods & obyed them! They refused me meat in Lent when I really required it & I really did not feel bound to remain there another Lent & kill myself! I have had many disagreeables to put up with this last 2 years as you know full well; so now, I have determined not to go back. There are many unkind things said about me & I have had much very much to suffer: but as the excellent Père Deynoodt my Confessor in Brussels told me it is more Christian like & Lady like to leave the refutation of any calumny in the hands of God - so Fiat! I should not have written to day as I have near 100 letters to write this week but I have a favor to ask of you: could you p2manage to get me the money from Madme Elleborgt at Ostende? She gave me a commission for a table cover etc of 40 francs to pay for them but they come to a great deal more; I will enclose the bill. I really want the money as Revnd Mother at Blandford Square lent it to me[1] I had to pay her before I left London & out of my small income I have no money to spare. If you can change it into English money I should like it so much better as we lose immensely by the exchange. A friend in need! is a friend indeed! So I feel sure you will do this for me!
I have had heaps of trouble lately. I was so ill coming over from Ostende to Dover I thought I should have died; I have been suffering fearfully since I arrived all épuisement as they call it from the sea sickness; I could not stand upright , my back was so bad & even now I am very far from well I went to Holy Communion the 1st time today since I have been in England. I came on Maundy Thursday[2] Dr Hearn forbid me to go till I could fast all night without xxxxxxxxce; as Ip3nearly fainted away if I went more than an hour without eating all from the effects of the sea sickness! Then someone has been saying I cannot pay my debts or am mad or something. It really is very hard because I have boarded in a mad house to be treated as a folle! Dr Hearn was ill; so as I was near St Georges[3] I went to confession to Dear Bishop Grant; whom you know I believe. I found him a perfect Angel. He knows the whole of my affairs & but for him I know not what I should have done. But God is indeed very good to me! Last year he sent me your own dear self in my trouble. This year Père Deynoodt Brussels & Drs Grant Hearn & Canon xxxxxx in London & Father Wilfred here! I enclose a note I wrote to Dr Grant of the last insult I had in London; he returned it as he said I might want it. Please read it & send it me back as I wish to send it to another friend. I will write to you again when I hear from you. Remember you owe a letter inp4my debt! If you see Mrs Flerr or any one from St Jullians House do not mention my name in any way. I desire to die a natural death there! But I did presume when I was in London to write the whole affair to Canon Maes & the Superioress; I thought it only my Duty to do so! but as they have never deigned to answer the letter which I made most respectful I suppose they think I am mad or exaltée as they term it so I must add this humiliation to the rest. If you ever come to Ramsgate I hope you will come & see your old Spiritual daughter I am in treaty for a house here but “Silence” till it is settled I will write & send you the address later when I hear from you. I saw Mrs Henry Robinson in the Church here today. My compliments to Mr Arthur & Miss Robinson Be sure to pray for me & believe me ever